Following is a client/coach situation we feel our readers will benefit from:
When providing career counseling for men and women over the years, I’ve noticed an internal tape recording of sorts. This never-ending loop of statements was repeated often.
- I can’t have this.
- This doesn’t exist.
- I’ll never be happy.
- I really don’t deserve this.
It seems to me these are common statements made by many people every day. When I began working with Joel, I realized how much they were trapping me in a certain way of thinking, and a certain way of living and working.
This was a major breakthrough for this client. After she realized how much these thought patterns were trapping her in an unfulfilling way of living and working, she was able to start questioning these beliefs, and replacing them with more success oriented ones.
I’ve found that this is indeed a common occurrence. Many, many people are stuck in a limiting mindset. That mindset is truly trapping them into an unfulfilling life. In a previous article, I talked with you about negative role models and experiences that instill certain beliefs in people. In many cases, these beliefs are never questioned, and these people continue to follow these limiting patterns.
I would like you to begin removing these negative mindsets. Consider the possibilities if you changed the questions and statements. Instead of telling yourself “I don’t have this,” ask yourself “Why CAN’T I have this?” This will be one of the most important questions you will ask yourself if you desire more fulfillment, and it is a question not many people ask.
Changing these questions from negative to positive also changes your perspective to one of saying YES to what you most want. And to say YES is to be open to imagine all the possibilities and dreams you’ve never gone after before. Imagine realizing that this is how it’s supposed to be. This is how you’re supposed to be living and working – actively creating the live you desire and deserve. You are only limited by your own thoughts and desires.
The client quoted above made a commitment to changing her mindset. She began by writing down the question, “Why CAN’T I have this?” and posting it where she would see it often. She also made a list of her limiting beliefs. These included:
- I can’t have the job I want because I’m too young and inexperienced.
- I can’t make more money than my colleagues.
- I can’t enjoy work.
- I can’t do a good job unless I work long hours.
Then she proceeded to write the opposite statement to each belief:
- I can have the job I want. I’m well trained, and talented. Age is not a barrier to my success.
- I can make as much money as I need, and as my performance allows.
- I can be effective and efficient, completing my work in less time, and allowing myself time to enjoy life.
She became skilled at recognizing her limiting thoughts, and at recognizing when she would automatically play them to herself on her ‘internal tape recorder’. She allowed herself to be completely open, and within months, her life changed dramatically, and she found herself more fulfilled than ever. Her fulfillment with her work and her personal lives were now exactly as she had desired.
Whether career counseling for men or woman, you can apply this same technique to your own lives. Ask yourself, “What can I create if I had no barriers?” “How can I remove self-created barriers to my success?” Finding true fulfillment at work or in your personal lives begins with these questions. Start today by giving yourself the gift of half an hour or an hour to ponder these questions, and begin to come up with solutions. Write them down and create your own ‘internal recording’ full of POSITIVE statements.